"For better or for worse" is a common phrase used in most weddings between two lovebirds. However, when the worse overcomes the better, love turns sour and thoughts of divorce start to weigh in on the couple.
At times, disagreements and quarrels are just ingredients of a normal relationship, but when they are completely out of control, they are symptoms of an unhealthy relationship. So which are the signs tell you enough is enough?
Physical violence is a clear-cut sign that you should be looking for a divorce attorney. It simply shows how broken your marriage is, which is beyond repair. Physical abuse in a marriage is like a cycle that begins with a shove or a hit. After a while, your partner may feel remorse, apologize and promise that the behavior will not surface again.
After another quarrel, the violent behavior resurrects and increases in magnitude. Just like the previous time, remorse and apologies follow suit. The abuser will try to twist things around so that the blame falls on you but if you are clever enough, do not wait for next phase of the cycle.
The Blame Game
Faults such as forgetting your date of anniversary or forgetting to wish you partner a happy birthday do occur in a marriage. If your partner burns red in anger and you accept that it is your mistake, you are doing your part. However, Megan Hunter -- an author and expert on high conflict personalities -- suggests that when you stop taking responsibility for your own actions, you are not doing your part in the relationship and it could be a sign that all is not well in your marriage.
According to William Doherty, director of Couples On The Brink Project of the University of Minnesota, you know you could be heading for a divorce when you fantasize how you could have had a perfect marriage with another person who is seemingly doing well in his marriage.
In your fantasies, you strongly convince yourself how you could never argue with the other person regarding small issues as you are now doing with your real partner. In reality, you are not willing to let go of your partner but in your blissful vision, you see yourself with another person.
Some signs such as physical abuse do not require a second thought, particularly if they are recurrent. Others though are bearable and with proper counseling, "always and forever", another common phrase, may actually hold up in your marriage.