An amicable divorce is not always possible, especially in cases where a marriage was abusive in some way, or a spouse was unfaithful and emotions are running high. Absent those types of issues, however, an amicable and cordial divorce is definitely something to strive for. When a divorce is amicable, you and your soon-to-be ex treat each other with respect and ensure that both of your legal and financial rights are honored. An amicable divorce can make it easier to gain closure and move on. Here are three tips for an amicable divorce:
Start With a Separation Agreement
A separation agreement is a legal contract stating your intention to separate and outlining the details of each spouse's rights and responsibilities. A separation agreement will typically state how assets and debts will be divided, how child custody will be shared, and who will remain in the marital home. It is best to have the separation agreement drafted by an attorney, and to expect there to be a bit of negotiation in order to end up with an agreement you can both live with.
This agreement does not mean you are legally divorced, but rather guides the separation process to make sure everyone is on the same page. Once you do file for divorce, the judge will be able to use the separation agreement as a guide, making the process much simpler.
Focus on the Positive
A common problem with those going through a divorce is getting fixated on blame and the ways you were wronged during your marriage. The problem with this is that it makes the entire process much more difficult for you, and delays your ability to heal and move on with your life. A healthier approach is to deliberately seek the positives in your situation.
Perhaps you are excited to live alone and decorate your new space. Maybe you can make plans to take a class or plan an international trip. Seeing your divorce as a new beginning makes it easier to remain amicable toward your spouse.
Divorce is an emotional time and it's tempting to vent about your spouse, but this should be done with discretion. If your spouse learns you have been saying unflattering things about them to mutual friends, for example, they may decide they want a less cordial divorce after all. Vent to close friends who won't talk to your ex, or ideally, to a therapist. Don't post personal details to social media, and definitely avoid bad-mouthing your spouse to any children you have.
By following these tips and working to create a cordial dissolution to your marriage, you will most likely save on legal expenses and prevent the drawn-out emotional pain of a contentious divorce. Contact a separation agreement lawyer for more help.